Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
50% drunk capacity currently
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
