is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
