she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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