they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
