i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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