just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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