My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want her autograph on my taint
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
