Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
