I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Someone came in the potted fern
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
