God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
