please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
