didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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