I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
