So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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