So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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