We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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