Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
not ubering you a puppy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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