i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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