I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize