I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need a sexual gate keeper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
