a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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