Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
