I puked a lego.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she pinky promised me she was 18
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
