oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize