yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
