ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
