I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
