Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
