why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
