you win again, gameday.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
