She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
