last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
