3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
