Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
