we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
