I will die if light touches me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
