I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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