I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
