U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
