I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
