no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
