the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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