make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize