I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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