I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
