what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
