UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
