i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize