I skipped work to stalk him.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
