My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize