Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
