im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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