At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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