why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
