I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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