It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
