Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
