He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
