I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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