Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
