I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
