I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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