there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
