No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You can't just leave with hair like that
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
