How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
